Keeping Kids Safe

One of our most important jobs as parents is keeping our children safe.  We stress out whenever they bump their heads.  We worry when they get sick.  We hold our breaths and wait every time they fall down.  We want to know their whereabouts, who their friends are, and what types of activities they're engaged in.  As they get older, and begin to gain independence, it only gets harder.

Unless you've been living in blissful ignorance of world events, you are well aware of the recently found three Ohio women who have been held captive for nearly a decade by a man who CNN refers to as the "Monster Next Door."  Here's a link to an article in case you have no idea what I'm talking about: CNN Article

I think every mother's biggest fear is this sort of thing happening to her child.  Kidnapping, torture, rape.  Any kind of molestation really is inevitably at the top of every mother's worry-list.  So how do we keep our children safe?

I'm not a fan of Oprah.  But I have seen enough episodes of her talk show to have learned that most sexual molestation happens by someone that you know and least suspect.  This is something that has always stuck with me since the very first time I heard it.  For this reason, I have always been extremely overprotective of who my daughter is alone with.  In fact in her entire life, she's only had about four different babysitters - her grandmothers and her aunts. I've also been extremely cautious in being aware of who may be around while they are watching her.  And if I'm not comfortable with a certain guest or the idea of painters being in the house, I make other arrangements.  Even if this means that I need to cancel my plans to stay home with her, that's what I'll do, because nothing in this world is more important to me than my daughter.

Another thing I do is to make sure she knows what's going on.  I drill it into her head that Mommies and babies don't keep secrets from each other - we tell each other everything.  I make sure that she is completely comfortable and trusting that I will always come back.  I read her the book Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Spelman on a regular basis, and I make sure she understands what are private parts and that they are private.

But those really wouldn't be helpful in the case of the abducted and thankfully recovered girls from Ohio.  That takes on a completely different form of education.  About a year ago there was a case in Brooklyn of a little boy walking home from school for the first time, who was abducted and killed by a man whom he asked for directions.  There are sick, demented, and hateful people in this world; and we all need to do whatever we can to try and keep our children away from these people.

Here are some ideas that I've found along the way.  I would LOVE it if you have any other ideas that you could share with us in the comments.

• Parents do not play hide-and-seek with their children.  Parents need to know where their children are all the time.  Hide-and-seek can be played with friends.
• We hold hands all the time - crossing the street, in stores, and just walking down the street.  This is especially important to practice all the time because if your child won't hold your hand in the mall, they definitely won't want to hold in an amusement park - where they can get easily lost.
• Mommy & Daddy will never send someone you don't know to pick you up.  Never take a ride from anyone ever.
• Children need to know their full names, parents real names, addresses, and phone number.
• Policemen and policewomen are there to help you.  I think one of the worst things is for parents to try and scare their children by threatening them with the police.  For example, threatening that the police will take them away if they're bad.  The police are there to help us and keep us safe.  If your child witnesses you getting pulled over and getting a speeding ticket, don't throw a fit.  Explain to your child that it's the police's job to keep everyone safe and you were doing something unsafe by speeding.  You can be mad, but make sure your child knows that you are mad at yourself, not at the policeman.
            Whenever we see a police officer, I point him/her out to my child.  I ask her to tell me which car belongs to the police officer.  What is the police officer wearing.  I remind her that if she ever needs help, or ever gets lost, she should look for a police officer first.  I encourage her to say hello to members of the police force.  Just this morning she waved at a police officer in Dunkin Donuts and was beyond thrilled when he smiled and waved back at her.  And she should have been.  He was damn handsome.
• I recently found a website called "Safely Ever After, Inc."  I encourage all of you to click that link and read the entire site because they have some wonderful tips and shocking statistics.  My favorite thing on the site is the idea of teaching children that if a police officer is not around - go and ask a MOM WITH KIDS for help.  How great is that? 
• That same site, Safely Ever After, also mentions that parents shouldn't say strangers, but instead "tricky person."  Think about the villians in children's books and shows.  They're outwardly mean and most often pretty hideous.  It's detrimental that children understand that there are plenty of horrible people that are beautiful and nice. 
• I am very against anything displaying my daughter's name on it.  Like clothing, bookbags, and accessories.  Strangers do not need to know your child's name.
• This one should be obvious, but never ever leave your child in a vehicle alone. 
• I saw on the news one day a video of a little child in Walmart and a man who was trying to abduct her.  She used self-defense, kicked, screamed, punched, kicked and wiggled.  Such a great thing for all kids to know.  Kidpower has more about this and even a video about their methods.  Would probably be a great program for schools, dancing schools, or scout troops to offer.  (Below, I've included the links to some Kidpower books sold on Amazon.  I haven't read any of them yet, but they are my summer reading list!)
   

You can easily Google more tips but here are some other websites and articles that you may find helpful:

Safely Ever After, Inc

Kidpower

National Crime Prevention Council

Huffington Post Article