A Rose By Any Other Name

Like most expecting couples, Marc and I agonized about what we would be naming our baby.  Everyone else in our family seemed to agonize over it as well.  I received long lists from well-meaning relatives listing possibilities, with names such as Ethel and Margaret.  Both nice names, of course, just for our baby.  Eventually, Marc and I put into effect what came to be known as "Fort Knox."  We told no one our baby name possibilities and refused to discuss the subject with anyone.  We had too.  We had to save our sanity.

We narrowed it down to three possibilities: Arianna, Lily, and Madelyn.  We waited until our baby was born and were about to leave the hospital before officially deciding on Arianna.  

We haven't regretted that decision once.  And right from the start she knew and responded to her name. 

About a month or two ago, Arianna began experimenting with new names in public.  For example, one day while checking out at a store, Arianna asked the saleswoman what her name was.  After she replied Arianna said, "My name is Annaliese. This is my friend Erica."  (Her "friend Erica" being me.)

I was shocked and amused but really embarrassed.  I had no idea what to do.  I looked at the salesgirl and said, "Yes, we just got off the set of the Barbie movie."  

That incident was only the beginning.  Every time we go out now, Arianna introduces herself with a new name.  Most are from books or movies.  "Sofia" is easily the most popular choice for Arianna.  Today she introduced herself as "Jenna" but I have no idea where that one came from.  If you watched our video in the post "A Diva Goes to Disney" you'll hear Arianna introduce herself as Strawberry.

In Disneyworld while wearing her Tangled costume, she told everyone her name was Rapunzel.  Including Princess Rapunzel, who excitedly replied "That's my name too!"

Sometimes she'll admit the truth to whomever she's speaking too.  "No, that's just my pretend name.  My real name is Arianna."

I've had really mixed feelings about all this.  Part of me is proud of her for taking risks and trying new things, engaging in pretend play, exploring her identity, and being able to distinguish between pretend play and real life.  But the other part of me gets kind of embarrassed.  Not that she's doing it, but that people might think I've actually named her one of these names, or that I'm simply her friend.  

Regardless, I've learned to just go with it.  I can pretend and I can play.  And besides, it can't be that much different from when I would use my pretend name (Amanda) at the bar.

Not to mention, when I was 3 I demanded that everyone refer to me as "Miss Rosie."

But despite the multitude of names Arianna uses, she knows how she wants to be referred to in real life.  

If you mispronounce her name and call her "Airy-anna" she will correct you with a stern look and sweet "ARIanna."

And she does not like nicknames.

While driving home from dancing school one day, Arianna and I had the following conversation:

Arianna:  Miss Marissa calls me Ari.

Me:  Oh, yeah?  

I don't want her to call me Ari.  

Why not?

I don't like it.  My name is Arianna.  I want her to call me Arianna.

I call you Ari sometimes, is that okay?

No, I don't like that.  

How about Aria?

No, I like Arianna. 

Okay, then, I won't call you Ari or Aria anymore.  Just Arianna.

And Miss Marissa?

I'll tell her too.


So there you have it.  Call her Strawberry, Sofia, Rapunzel, Princess Aurora, Jenna, Cinderella, Annaliese, or Arianna and she'll come running.  But call her Ari or Aria and you'll get the cold shoulder.  

But I have to admit, I'm so proud of her for knowing what she likes and doesn't like and for having the self-confidence to stand up for herself.  We must be doing something right.